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* SoRRY 2 EVERY1 who Commented me...xanga is being GAY*
neways..
things r so crappy right now
My parents i can't even begin on aLL that...they dont love eachother anymore
havn't for a couple of years now...my mom basically told me she was only with my dad for the money..not cuz shes greedy...but so that she can support her children
idno how she does it...all he does is put her down...i cant even stand him sometimes
half the time his drunk abusive ass scares me...the other times he's the coolest person ever..i dont get it? ...i cant even talk 2 him anymore..i hate the way he treats my mom..gah it makes me sick..
& i kno i kno its fathers day...i shouldn't be saying all this but i cant help it
I DONT BELIEVE IN LOVE
I juSt DONT
i dont kno any1 who isn't divorced or that is happiLy married
BOYS R JERKS
theres this one guy ...lets just say his name is James (its not)..but just so i dont have to write "him"..lol..weLL anyways..I love James with all my heart...& he doesn't give a fuck...well okay i guess i believe in love...but not mutual love..it always goes away for sum1...
the hart part of all of this for me is that...well James used 2 love me sooo much more than what i cared 4 him...now we dont even talk..ocasionaLy ill call him just 2 talk..so i can hear his voice..gawd i miss that boy..hes bad news tho..honestLy he's headed for jail...he dropped outta school this year it was his fuckin junior year..what an idiot but gawd do i love that idiot
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
when we do talk he tells me he misses me & all that shyt again...but i CANT do that i cant go back out with sum1 whose just gonna cheat on me...& i kno its only the spurt of moment type of thing bcuz then we dont talk for months 
why are guys such jerks?
uh ne way..so i've figured it out..this may sound bitchy & bratty & stuck up but W/e i DONT CARE!!!...im just going 2 marry sum1 with a lot of money..so that i can have everything i want...& i can be his stupid trophy wife...half the guys i go out w/ only go out with me bcuz of the way i look anyway..ugh...i cant even go out w/ ne1 anymore bcuz all i can think a/b is James & i dont wanna be unhappy with sum1 now...if im goin 2 have 2 do it the rest of my life u kno?.....this prob doesn't make sense 2 any1...but it does 2 me
i have NO APETITE anymore...like it took me all day 2 eat this little chicken burger thingy from Mcdonalds..i kno not the best choice but my mom got it 4 me & i didnt want 2 hurt her feelings...but i ate on that thing from lunchtime 2 like 7 o'clock 2 night...i mean yah thats good i guess...but my mom is like freakin worried a/b me...i hate when she does this..she DOES NOT Need anything else 2 worry a/b....my clothes are too big again...even my rings...the other day i couldnt eat this lil breakfast thing & she was like..."stop being anorexic" i was like.. ..it really hurt my feelings..i kno she didnt mean 2 tho..
i just wanna be pretty
aLexis BledeL.
-shes so gorgeous i envy her so much...she makes great career choices-
Im Goin 2 be faMous someday & every1 wiLL see my name in lights!!*
RaCheL BiLSon
nobody else could wear that & look as kute as she does!! ugh!!
im so jealous of her!! & she models for DOLLHOUSE!! ..ugh!! LOL! | 
..im going back down to 110! i can do it..i've been tryin 2 watch what i eat now..i've pretty much completely cut bread out of my meals...there is SO much fattening in it...i've been drinking diet soda..cuz thers 0 calories! yay! its really not that bad..im so tired of all the drama at school it makes me sad...i dont even talk to anyone anymore really...just go on about my own little world, i used 2 be SO popular...now i just try & stay away from that..it only brings you down
